i'm looking for the wrong person...

but not just any wrong person ---

the RIGHT wrong person...

someone i would lovingly gaze upon and think,

"he is the problem i wanna have..."

it is not DESTINY that determines LOVE, it is CHOICE. our so-called DESTINY is a lie...relationships last long not because they are destined to last long. relationships last long because two brave people made a choice - to keep it, to fight for it and to work for it. meanwhile, other relationships fail not because they are destined to fail. they failed because one of the two, or both made the choice -to set each other free...

Sometimes in life, you find a special friend;
Someone who changes your life
Just by being part of it.
Someone who makes you laugh
Until you can't stop;
Someone who makes you believe
That there really is good in the world.
Someone who convinces you
That there really is an unlocked door
Just waiting for you to open it.

wouldn't it suck big time
if you fall for someone but he/she doesn't love you back???
and all you can do is whisper...
"i love you...
but i wish i never learned to..."

one morning,

i will wake up and find myself
thinking about something else
and then i'll know the worst is over...
my heart might be bruised,
but it will recover and become capable of seeing the beauty of life once more.
it happened before,
it will happen again i'm sure.
when someone leaves,
it is because someone is about to arrive...
i know i'll find love again...

sometimes we can't let go of hurt...

because it's a constant reminder of one great

love story we never expected to come to an end...

why do some people choose to love a CHEATER rather than a good one?
why do we always believe that they are good even if they are not?
maybe because in love,
you can't see the bad reality of things,
unless you get hurt by them.

you'll suddenly realize how worse that person is...
that's just a pathetic part of being in love,
that sometimes even the "worst person in this world"
can be the "person for your own belief"...

Finding Happiness--a Journey of Discovery

I wanted a small thing really.
I wanted to be happy.
That was my mistake,
and the beginning
of a terrifying,
exhilarating odyssey
into the very core
of being!

Why is happiness so difficult to achieve?

Before we can be happy, we need to understand ourselves well enough to know what it is that makes us happy. This is a learning process which involves varied life experiences and which all individuals must accomplish for themselves.

Because each of us is so different, what makes one person happy will not be successful for someone else.

Understanding ourselves is a lifelong process of self-discovery, so that discovering our individual path to happiness is one of life’s great and challenging adventures.

Reflections on Growing Older

The hour-glass spills its grains of sand: one grain less memory today, one grain less strength tomorrow.

The moving sands
change time and being
imperceptibly
grain by grain.

We are all aging every day whether we go from 29 to 30 or 59 to 60.

How we decide to deal with the aging process determines whether we will feel anger and despair or whether we will decide to accept those changes which will inevitably occur as we age.

If we take care of our health, retain our self-esteem, continue to develop our mental capacities and participate in activities which we find enjoyable, then aging will become less of a burden and more of a challenge.

a bitter choice

i am struggling to keep my emotions in check. there is the conflict arising from the thinking in me and the feeling past me. my head is not in line with my feelings. both struggle against each other. should i let you go or should i let you stay?

let's not fool ourselves. long distance love affairs are novel-stuff, the kind of storyline you find in three-hankie tearjerkers. you know we're miles apart. neither bridges nor telephone lines are enough to fill the space between us. sparks are not enough to keep the fire burning.

i am not accepting any maybe or maybe not. things must be either black or white, no grays in-between. sometimes we sugarcoat the truth but in the end, we suffer for the lies that we choose to live. there are some things in life you have to jump right in, even if you are afraid. and you must be responsible for your actions - and the repercussions.

i have no bag of religious tricks to make everything turn out well for you. come back if you can, but no promises will be broken for no promises will be made. how can i ask you to stay? love isn't enough, probably freedom is. you see, its easier to say goodbye but never easy to ask someone to stay.

it's been a while that we've been spending time together,

i know we're not that close because we don't talk that much,
eventhough we're hanging out almost everyday.

it's nice that you become a part of me
but i'm not quite sure if you feel the same way too.

i know, i'm no one to you but still...
i'm sure that you consider me as one of your friends.

as time passes by,
i've noticed that there is something in you
that i really can't explain,
i don't know why,
but i realized,
i'm starting to love you more and more.

not just a love for a buddy or a friend,
but a special kind of love.

the way you smile,
laugh,
being sweet and thoughtful,
your concern,
and how you treat me,
it makes me feel secure from everything.

people around us, questions my existence to you,
why do i hang out with you?
why i waste my time on you?
i really don't know what are the perfect words to use to answer them back.

i, myself keep on seeking the answers "why do i feel this way?"
all i know is that,
if they could only see what i see in you
they'd be crazy loving you too.

it's really embarrassing to tell you but i just want you to know
how i really feel,
i didn't mean to feel this way
because i loved you unexpectedly.

i'm not expecting anything in return from you,
just say "thank you," it's more than enough for me,
for me to know that you appreciate me in some way.

don't feel sorry for me,
don't feel awkward around me,
for it would hurt me, knowing that you don't feel the same .

i know it will be hard for the both of us to treat each other the same way as before,
for this feelings i have for you made a gap between us.

please remain as my friend for in that way
i could show you that i love you,
i don't think i'll be okey if i'll lose the one person that i love.

just let me care for you,
for in caring a friend,

i don't have to face the risk of losing you...

... it hurts when the one you love left you and say "you deserve someone better," then all you can say is, " maybe i do," but deep inside you are crying cause you know you can't find better if you already found the best ...

if you are holding to the past hurts and pains, let it go...
if you are involved in a wrong relationship or addiction, let it go...
if you keep trying to help someone who doesn't even try helping himself, let it go...

let the past be the past...
God is doing new things, get right or get left...
think about it, then let it go...

love is much like a tattoo.

you take the risk, face the pain
and yet place it in a special part of you.
and when the time comes that you need to erase it,
you have to endure again the pain
and realize that it will forever leave a scar.

a scar that will always remind you, that you once had a tattoo.
a tattoo that for sometime symbolized something so special.

life...
we always search for answers because we want to prove ourselvesthat we had the right decisions,

but the truth is we can't search for what's not there.

things happen because they are meant to happen.
that's why we forgive people,
even if they hurt us, we love people who don't love us
and we smile despite every painful crash in our hearts.
at the end of the day,
the lesson you get are the answers to your decisions.

... there will be days when you get home from a party and forget what the fun was about, or have a very long, intimate conversation, yet feel there are still words left unspoken, or embrace your special someone, yet never have the strength to say you care so much, life tells us that happiness is never absolute. so while it's still there, seize the moment, cause it may never come again...